Rated: R, language
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard, background McKay/Keller
Notes: okay so I did a poll and the people voted for McShep re: Keller with a genre of angst/funny with porn… This has less porn than I thought it would, and is not as funny as the initial concept was, but I’m still happy with it. (My favorite Sheppard line in five seasons happened in season 3, when Sheppard said "Operation This Will Most Likely End Badly is a go").
[Operation All's Fair In Love And War]
i. Commence Operation Never Sees It Coming:
The thing is, he usually does see it coming.
Not that he’s lying about not seeing it coming, but that, he never knows when it’s coming. He knows it’s coming. He sees it, way off in the distance. In the way eyes gravitate towards his ass or travel up his legs to his crotch, the way hands linger on his shoulders. The way lips curve in that I’m amused but also aroused sort of way.
The fact of the matter is, John’s actually aware that he’s a very attractive guy. He’s not smug about it, all that much, but he’s had a few too many people tell him he is for it not to be bullshit posturing for him to be all ‘who me?’ about it.
The when always gets him though. He should have gotten used to it, how shockingly forward some women can be. Grabbing his face and shoving their tongues in his mouth, wrapping their arms around him and grabbing his ass. He even had a woman once shove him into an alcove, take his pants down, and suck him off before he even had a chance to see her face.
It’s less shocking when it’s a man, because men are driven by impulse, by their dicks. Men think with their little heads, as they say, so when they shove him around and take his head off with an impromptu tongue shoved down his throat and a hand down his pants, he’s a little less shocked.
But this. This he truly didn’t see coming. Not at all, in any way.
Rodney puts three small velvet black boxes in front of John and says, “I’m going to ask Jennifer to marry me, I need your help.”
John stares at the boxes in front of him, hears ‘marry me’ echo in his head, and says, “Oh.”
He says oh, but he thinks, ‘shit,’ and, ‘what the hell?’ He thinks, ‘no,’ and, ‘what’s wrong with me, I should be happy for him.’ He thinks, ‘I didn’t react this way when it was Katie.’
He also hears, ‘yeah, you know exactly what this feeling is John, don’t kid yourself,’ and, ‘because when it was Katie you knew it would never happen.’
He looks up at Rodney and flounders for something to say. “Help,” he asks, both because he’s actually asking Rodney to help him figure out what the fuck was going on with this sinking-heart, shattering-glass thing happening in his chest, and also because, “What do you need help with?”
“Which ring,” Rodney says, gesturing to the boxes in front of John, opening them one by one. “The one I got for Katie was, I don’t know, it was… At the time I thought it was good, nice, but, upon reflection, it seems… less than perfect.”
“It was puny,” John says helpfully, staring down at the rings in front of him. All of them, gorgeous. Clarity, excellent. Size, perfect. One gold, one silver, one gold with silver threads throughout it. Absolutely stunning. Easily $3,000 each. “Horrible, tiny, inexpensive, cheap, insulting.”
The swat to the head is both unexpected and painful.
“Ow, McKay,” John says, because it was unexpected and painful but also just what he needed to snap himself out of the fugue state that had set in since the boxes got sat down. “What the hell,” he says, and swatted Rodney in the leg back.
“I showed you the ring before I proposed to Katie, asshole, why didn’t you tell me then it was so inadequate!”
John cringes, and thinks, ‘because I wanted her to laugh at you and say no, apparently, because I’m in love with you and completely in denial and fuck you very much for making me realize it.’
“You didn’t ask for my opinion, Rodney,” he says lightly, chewing his lip and staring back at the three rings in front of him. “I didn’t want to insult you.”
“Like you’ve ever cared about insulting me before,” Rodney says, but he slumps into the chair next to John and huffs out a breath. “Anyway, of these three, which do you like the best?”
John shakes his head. “Look, Rodney.” He looks over at Rodney and sees that his chin is lifted defiantly, defensively. John sighs. “I don’t know, they’re all fine.”
“Good,” John says, sweeping his hand over the rings. “They’re all great, Rodney, really.”
“I was thinking traditional first,” Rodney says, pointing to the gold band. “But then I thought, and Jennifer doesn’t usually wear gold, her watch is silver.”
John nods. “Yeah,” he says, picturing Rodney and Jennifer holding hands, the small delicate silver watch with a blue iridescent face reflecting the lights. “True.”
“But then I thought, wedding bands are meant to be gold. So shouldn’t it be gold? But no, because, silver.” Rodney shrugs. “I don’t know the correct way to approach this. Do I go with tradition, or with her personal style?” He gestures to the third. “And then I just said, screw it, get a compromise.”
“It doesn’t matter, Rodney,” John says, feeling the definite need for a very strong drink.
Rodney’s teeth gnash. “Fine.”
John sighs again, putting his head in his hands. “I don’t mean it doesn’t… Rodney, I’m saying either of these. Any of them.” He looks at Rodney. “She’ll love any of them.”
Rodney sighs and rests his head on his hand, looking utterly exhausted. “I’m horrible at this. Please, John, just pick one for me?”
John reaches down and picks up the two-toned ring, examines it. “This’ll go with that necklace she likes,” he says, snapping the box closed and handing it to Rodney. “The one she always wears for ‘special occassions’. It’s even got the same swirly things.”
Rodney frowns at him and looks down at the box. “She has a necklace like this?”
John laughs and puts a hand on Rodney’s shoulder. “Yeah, buddy. Pretty sad that I know what jewelry she has better than you do.”
“I’m usually too busy looking at her breasts when she’s dressed up to notice,” Rodney says, and then grins. “Yeah? This one?”
“Yeah,” John says, nodding and closing the other two boxes. He has to force himself to not chuck them across the room. “That one.”
“And you’ll,” Rodney says, hesitant, shy. He frowns, staring down at the ring and John looks at the top of his head, hating him for a second. “You’ll be my best man, won’t you,” Rodney finally asks, looking up at him, eyes hopeful. “I can’t… I can’t imagine it being anyone else.”
John sucks in a breath and looks away and thinks, ‘fuck no, I won’t be your best fucking man,’ and says, “Yeah, buddy, ‘course I will.”
He watches a beaming Rodney pick up his three boxes and walk out of the door, and aches deep, deep down inside his chest.
Without turning from the door he opens the drawer to his desk, grabs the bottle of whiskey, and proceeds to drain it while listening to Waylon Jennings.
ii. Commence Operation Deny, Deny, Deny:
In the morning he looks at his bloodshot eyes and cringes at the taste of whiskey on his breath. “I do not have feelings for Rodney McKay,” he says to the mirror, putting toothpaste on his toothbrush. “I don’t. That’s crazy. Stupid, and crazy, and untrue.”
He brushes his teeth hard enough to make his gums bleed.
In the mess hall, Rodney sits with Teyla and Ronon with three muffins on his plate, a big steaming cup of coffee, and half of his stack of pancakes remaining. There is syrup and powdered sugar on his nose.
Longing sweeps through John, leaving him swaying in place as Teyla gives him an odd look and Ronon stabs one of Rodney’s pancakes onto his own fork.
“Hey,” Rodney says as John sits down, grinning at him. “I was just showing Teyla and the caveman here my ring. Teyla approves.”
Ronon swallows a bite of pancakes and shrugs. “Caveman doesn’t care.”
“When do you plan on asking her,” Teyla asks, and John shuts his eyes and counts to ten so he doesn’t run screaming from the room.
“I don’t know, I thought I’d ask her over dinner.”
“Over dinner,” John snorts, shaking his head. “What, just, pass the peas, and oh by the way, here I got you this?”
Rodney looks at him. “Well what would you suggest?”
John looks up to Teyla’s disapproving look and Ronon’s amused one. “Women like to be, ya know…” He waves his fork. “They like the pomp and circumstance. Candles. Nice meal. Planning. You know. The usual.”
Rodney frowns. “The last time I lit candles Jennifer rolled her eyes at me and told me she was a sure bet so I could stop wooing her.”
John chokes on his muffin, little bits of it flying out of his mouth before he can get to his napkin to block it. Rodney rests a hand on his back and strokes it gently back and forth, and warmth spreads through John’s chest.
iii. Commence Operation Delay to Allow Time for Strategic Strategizing:
“So I was thinking,” John says, striding into the lab and leaning over Rodney’s table. “Isn’t your anniversary coming up?”
Rodney frowns up at him. “Is it?”
John nods. “End of November. It’s September.”
Rodney’s frown deepens. “I have more important things to be worrying about than arbitrary dates.”
John snorts. “Tell me that again after you miss your first married anniversary.”
Rodney leans back in his chair. “Fine yes, what about our anniversary?”
John gestures. Rodney blinks at him. “Do it then,” he says, when Rodney still doesn’t get it. “You can’t do better than an engagement ring for an anniversary present.”
“Ohh,” Rodney says, grinning. “Yes, you’re right!” The smiles slowly fades. “Wait a minute, that means I have to wait two months.”
“Two and a half,” John says, waving a hand and grinning at him. “You can do it, buddy. It’ll be romantic and… and sweet. She’ll totally say yes.”
Rodney nods. “When is it exactly?”
“November 28th,” John says.
Rodney frowns at him, a contemplative look passing over his face. John slouches even more aggressively. “Seriously, why do you know more about my relationship with Keller than I do. You know what jewelry she has, you know our anniversary…”
John fidgets, looking away. “I’m really good with numbers.” He straightens and pushes off of the desk. “Anyway. So don’t do it yet, right? Wait?”
“Yeah,” Rodney says, nodding. “You’re right. Plus this will give me time to get it just right.”
“Uh huh,” John says, and then walks out of the door, wondering how exactly it was that his subconscious had never seen fit to let him in on the fact that he was obsessed with Rodney’s love life.
iv. Commence Operation Distract, Discourage, & Distract Some More:
Sitting on his bed polishing his golf club very deliberately, John rolls his eyes as Rodney continues to plot and plan his stupid, fucking, damn, dinner.
“I was thinking chicken, Jennifer loves chicken, but then I was wondering if maybe I shouldn’t take her out on the town. Maybe take her dancing, or… or, no, because I can’t dance, but I could watch her dance.”
“What, with someone else?”
‘Hey,’ John thinks. ‘Actually…’
“Right, no, maybe a movie? There must be some romantic comedy out that’s not so bad that it makes me want to bash my brains in from the sheer stupidity of it. And afterwards a nice restaurant. Hide the ring in some dessert. Jennifer loves chocolate.”
“Yeah, nothing better than cracking a tooth on what you think is a pecan but is actually in fact a 1 carat diamond,” John grumbles under his breath.
“Okay, maybe not in the dessert.”
John grits his teeth. “Hey, not to, ya know, interrupt your constant babbling about your anniversary or anything, but, could you take a look at my computer?”
Rodney frowns, distracted. “What?”
“Yeah, it’s got some kind of…” He waves his hand and thanks the inherent unsafety Earth and spam robots. “Something, keeps freezing on me.”
Rodney grabs John’s laptop off of the bed and opens it. “Sheppard, what did I tell you about looking up porn, you have to be careful what sites you go to, and have you been running AdAware like I told you to? We’ve been spoiled in Pegasus, but we’re back here now and you have to be careful.”
John grins and slides his hand up the golf club right in front of Rodney’s face, twisting his wrist around the head. Rodney watches him, a slight frown marring his face as he trails off.
“Not porn,” John says with a satisfied smile. “I have a healthy imagination.”
“Mm,” Rodney says, jerking his eyes away from the club. John sighs. “So what do you think? Cooking or meal on the town?”
John clenches his jaw. “You can’t cook worth shit, Rodney,” he says, and before Rodney can bitch he stands from the bed and walks over to where their remote control cars lay. “Hey, you up for it?”
Rodney grins as John waves the cars in the air. “Anyone ever test you for ADD? You’re all over the place tonight, John.”
v. Commence Operation Get Really Drunk Together and Just Do It:
“No, I can do it, I can do it,” Rodney says, and then pokes gently at a Jenga piece. He pushes, slowly, slowly, and John watches the tower teeter and totter but not fall. “I have magical fingers of dexterity!”
John watches Rodney’s nimble fingers grip the small rectangle and pictures what those fingers would look like, feel like on his cock. Taking another shot he pours another for Rodney. “Good one. Clearly you’re too sober.”
Rodney laughs and holds his peg up triumphantly. “Ha,” he says, and slams the shot down.
John watches his throat as he swallows and finds it very hard to breathe. “Hey, so, you ever…”
“Ever,” Rodney repeats, looking at him and gesturing to the Jenga. “You’re turn.”
“You ever, um,” John says, and pokes at a piece. His hands are shaking and he’s drunk and Rodney’s tolerance level is way too fucking high for this. “Isn’t there anything you always wanted to do that you haven’t done yet?”
“No, Sheppard, I will not go bungee jumping off of the Golden Gate bridge with you,” Rodney says, snorting out a laugh.
The Jenga tower falls and John can’t help but think it’s a metaphor. For what he’s not sure, but it’s not good, of that he’s certain.
He looks up at Rodney and wants to just grab him, take his face in his hands and pull him forward and kiss him. Six years of knowing him and never knowing what his lips taste like suddenly seems like the biggest regret John could ever think of.
“Messing around with someone, doing things you won’t be able to do once you’re married, isn’t there anyone you’ve wanted to kiss that you haven’t,” John asks in a rush, picking up a Jenga piece and fumbling it between his fingers. “You know, before it’s too late.”
Rodney sighs, and stretches out on John’s bed. John aches to reach out and run his fingers down Rodney’s chest, push his shirt up and spread his hand out over his stomach. His fingers itch.
“Sure,” he says. “Carter. I swear she was finally starting to see me differently when she was here, but then she got reassigned. Plus I keep hearing things that makes me think she’s with O’Neill.”
“Right,” John says, deflating and landing heavily next to Rodney on the bed, shoulder pressing into his. “Carter. Of course.”
He can feel Rodney’s eyes on him and he closes his eyes. “You okay, John? You’ve been… You’ve seemed sad lately.”
“Yeah, Rodney,” John says, lacing his fingers together so he doesn’t reach out to grab Rodney’s hand and bring it to his lips like he very much wants to right now. “I’m fine.”
vi. Commence Operation Seduce With Inherent (according to Rodney) Kirk-ness:
John cocks his hip against Rodney’s lab table. “Whatcha working on?”
Rodney mumbles something about the inherent idiocy of the IOA and John watches the way his fingers fly over the keys, not slowed at all by the vitriol coming out of his mouth.
John leans into his space, close enough to breathe in Rodney’s scent. “Wanna knock off early? I’ve got movies and popcorn. Chocolate.”
Rodney laughs and looks up, seeming surprised at how close John is. “Oh, hi, there you are. Right there. Um. Give me fifteen?”
John sets up his laptop and cues up Battlestar Gallactica and pops the popcorn, sets out the chocolate, and brings out the beer. Rodney shows up thirty minutes late babbling apologies and immediately grabbing a fistful of popcorn and shoving it in his mouth.
John sits too close, leans his leg into Rodney’s, and lets his hand linger on Rodney’s when he hands him a square of chocolate.
Rodney looks over in the middle of an episode and points at the right corner of John’s mouth. “You have some chocolate,” he says, gesturing.
John pokes out his tongue, deliberately on the left side, and slowly licks. “Get it?”
Rodney smirks and reaches over, wiping at the corner of John’s mouth with his thumb. He then sticks his thumb in his mouth and sucks it off, and is completely unaware of the fact that he’s just made John go rock hard in his jeans.
“Rodney,” John breathes, leaning closer.
“Shh,” Rodney says, poking him in the leg. “I love this bit, is there a sexier badass out there than Kara Thrace? God I love blondes.”
John excuses himself to the bathroom in the middle of the next scene and jerks off silently, feeling stupid and ashamed and like a massive coward.
Then he returns, eats all the rest of the popcorn without saving any for Rodney, and drinks the last of the beer.
vii. Commence Operation Play to Rodney’s Insecurities:
“So, question,” John says, watching Rodney line up the ball for Wii Golf.
“Hm,” Rodney says, swinging. “Shit. I hate this game.”
John presses his leg into Rodney’s and takes a deep breath, sending a silent apology. “Have you thought this whole proposal thing all the way through? I mean, the last one didn’t work out so well for you.”
Rodney looks at him. “What?”
“I mean, you thought you were sure about Katie before you realized you weren’t, so I’m just wondering,” John says, hating the way the light dies in Rodney’s eyes. “I just want to make sure you’re sure.”
“I’m sure,” Rodney says, lowering his controller.
“Sure you’re sure,” John says, offering him a weak smile. Rodney hasn’t moved his leg though, so he draws strength from the warmth spreading through him to continue being the dick he knows he’s being. “But are you sure she’ll say yes? Because you can’t ask her to marry you and then go back to dating.”
“What is this,” Rodney asks, gesturing between John and himself. “You’ve been nothing but encouraging up until now.”
‘No, actually I’ve been trying every fucking play in the book and you’re not fucking getting it,’ John thinks and looks back at Rodney. “I’m just being a good friend, Rodney.” He presses his leg into Rodney’s harder. “You deserve to be with someone that loves you.”
“And you think she doesn’t love me,” Rodney asks, horror clouding his voice, and John loses his nerve.
“No, buddy, that’s not what I mean,” he says, and pulls his leg back to himself, tucking it under his foot under his other leg. “I just want you to be sure. It’s the kind of question you can’t un-ask.”
“I’m sure,” Rodney says, and he sounds pissed, and John really can’t blame him.
“Sorry,” John mumbles, leaning his shoulder against Rodney’s. “I’m having a bad day, don’t read too much into it.”
viii. Commence Operation Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures (aka Operation Cockblock):
John hops up onto the table and lifts up his shirt to give Jennifer access to the nasty bruise on his abdomen. “It doesn’t really hurt that much,” he says.
Jennifer lifts an eyebrow and gets an evil glint in her eye. “Oh really,” she questions, and then pokes him with the tip of her finger. He flinches violently. “Hmm. Seems like it might.”
He glares at her. “Okay so it hurts. I’m fine though.”
Her hands are warm as she gently feels his ribs. It sends a shiver up his spine thinking about the fact that these very same hands get to touch Rodney like this every night. He wonders if her mouth tastes like Rodney.
He reaches down and catches her hand. “Hey. Jennifer.”
“Colonel,” she says, looking at him. “Something wrong?”
“You wanna get some dinner,” he asks, not knowing what the hell he’s doing except that if he fucks Jennifer, Rodney will never marry her. “I’ve got some pretty interesting movies in my room, we could grab some dinner and go watch them.”
She furrows her brow and then grabs his head, shining her light in his eyes. “Did you hit your head? Rodney said SG9 were idiots, was it the same team this time?” She flicks her light over his eyes. “You don’t seem to have a concussion.”
He laughs weakly and drops his gaze. “Nah, I just… I mean, team. All of us. I wasn’t.”
“Hitting on me,” Jennifer asks, frowning at him. “Because that’s what it seemed like.”
He looks at her, so beautiful and smart and funny and pretty much exactly the kind of person he might have picked for Rodney. “Yeah. Think I’m coming down with something. Cold. Aneurysm. Something idiot-inducing.”
She frowns some more at him and feels his forehead for a fever. “Maybe,” she says, and backs up, looking at him speculatively. “I think maybe you need to get some rest, John. You seem tired.”
“I am,” he says, sliding off the table and lowering his shirt. “Sleep. Good advice, Doc,” he says, and starts to leave. As he passes her he grabs her arm, looking at her. “You won’t tell… I mean, I’m sorry, please don’t--”
“I won’t,” she says softly, frowning concernedly at him. “Doctor-patient confidentiality, right,” she asks, quirking an eyebrow up.
He smiles slightly. “Right.”
ix. Commence Operation I Can’t Do This Anymore:
Rodney rubs his hands together agitatedly. “Two more weeks,” he says, and John rolls his eyes.
“Uhuh,” he says.
“Two more weeks until I am an engaged man,” Rodney says, eyes excited and scared at the same time.
“Yeah,” John says, looking away. “Listen, I gotta go. I forgot I had a meeting.”
Rodney frowns at his watch. “At nine at night?”
“Yeah, Rodney, at nine at night,” he says, and then starts for the door only to have Rodney grab his arm. “Rodney.”
“What’s going on, John,” Rodney says, suddenly intensely focused solely on John, like he hasn’t been in months. “You’re honestly not acting like yourself lately.”
He looks at Rodney and imagines the look of horror on Rodney’s face if he knew. “Nothing,” he says, grinning and prying Rodney’s fingers off of his arm. “I just gotta go.”
x. Commence Operation Honesty (aka Operation Suck It Up and Deal With It, John):
John looks up from his paperwork to see Rodney glaring at him. “Hey,” he says, setting his pen aside. “Something wrong?”
“Yeah, you’ve been avoiding me,” Rodney says, walking in front of John’s desk and blocking his view of the computer. “Stop it, I need you here.”
John swallows, looking away. “Rodney.”
“Four days,” Rodney says, pointing at his watch. “In a matter of days I’m asking Jennifer to marry me, I need you to talk me up, I need you to bolster my confidence.”
John stands. “I can’t,” he grits out, walking away. “I’m busy, I can’t… Rodney, I just, I can’t.”
“Did something happen,” Rodney asks, throwing his hands out. “Have I done something I’m unaware of? I don’t understand why you’re pissed at me.”
“I’m not,” John says, feeling miserable and guilty. “It’s not you, it’s me. Really.”
“Just tell me,” Rodney says, looking up into John’s eyes. “John, just… what?”
“I can’t do this,” John says, jerking his hands like that can explain it away. “I can’t talk you up, I can’t bolster your confidence, I can’t be your best fucking man, Rodney, I can’t!”
“Why not,” Rodney yells, throwing his hands out again.
“Because I don’t want you to marry Jennifer, okay,” John shouts, walking forward and poking Rodney in the chest. “Is that what you want to hear? You want the unvarnished fucking truth, McKay? Huh? Is that what you want?”
“I think you owe me that much, yes, that’s what I want!”
John grabs his shoulders and stares into Rodney’s eyes and leans forward, pressing his lips to Rodney’s. He closes his eyes and pours everything into that kiss, every ache and pain and longing he’s felt for the past two months.
“Because,” he says, leaning back just slightly. “I’m in love with you. Sorry.”
He walks out before Rodney can say anything.
xi. Commence Operation Pick Self Up Floor and Move On
John packs a bag, takes a puddle jumper without permission, and goes camping for a week at the Grand Canyon.
He takes alcohol, water, money, MRE’s, and clothes.
He leaves his cell phone.
xii. Commence Operation Hell the Fuck Yes:
“I didn’t do it,” Rodney says from his doorway after he’s finished unpacking.
John’s supposed to be in Woolsey’s office now, explaining his impromptu AWOL status, but he freezes to the spot as Rodney walks into his room.
“I didn’t propose,” Rodney says, stopping just short of him, his hands reaching outward abortively. “Are you all right?”
John nods. “Camping,” he says, swallowing and looking away. “I went camping. Needed to clear my head.”
“Asshole,” Rodney says, angry as he steps forward and grabs John’s arms. “You’re such an asshole.”
“I know,” John says, still unable to look at him. “I said I was sorry, Rodney. I shouldn’t have told you.”
“You should have told me sooner,” Rodney says, and then he grabs John’s face and makes him look at him. “I would have broken up with Jennifer sooner if you had.”
John’s hands grip Rodney’s arms. “You broke up with her?”
“Idiot,” Rodney says, but he says it affectionately, and John has just enough time to take a breath before Rodney’s mouth is on his and Rodney’s shoving him back and back and back until John falls unceremoniously onto his bed, right on top of his boots. “Moron.”
“Rodney,” John says, hands coming up to grab his head, pulling his face back down to kiss him again, tongue licking out into Rodney’s open mouth. He’s trembling and scared as hell. “Are you… do you…”
“Love you,” Rodney asks, reaching down to pull John’s shirt up, tangling it under John’s armpits and yanking on it some more until John lifts his arms so he can jerk it off of John’s head. “Yes, God you’re stupid, just shut up, John, shut up and let me--”
John arched up and kissed Rodney’s tirade right out of his mouth, pulling him down on top of him and sliding his hands down Rodney’s back to his ass. Rodney groaned into the kiss and John answered it with his own, and when he heard his headset beep with what had to be a reminder from Woolsey he ignored it and tossed it across the room.
“I didn’t know,” John says as Rodney leans up to take his shirt off and John starts working on his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them. “I didn’t know until you started talking about marrying her.”
“Stop,” Rodney says, reaching out to undo John’s jeans. “I don’t want to think about it anymore, I’ve done enough thinking over the past week for a lifetime,” he says, and then wraps his hand around John’s cock. “Stop thinking.”
“Okay,” John says, grinning and getting his hand around Rodney’s cock as well. “I can do that.”
Additional Notes: This fic brought to you by the fact that I didn’t realize I was in love with a friend of mine until he asked my opinion on his engagement ring: True Story. His name was Chris and I started out with a crush on him, became very good friends with him, and three years later thought I was over him until he showed me his engagement ring and said “You’re the first person I’ve showed this to, what do you think?” Right there, ow, oh yeah, not over it. Painful, let me tell you. I don’t cry at weddings, but I did at that one.